The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

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The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  The Master on Sat Nov 19, 2011 10:55 am

Dan Mcneelee was born on February 12th, 2128 in an underground hospital. His mother died in childbirth, and his father was a drunk. All the same, his father did his best to keep him out of trouble. They lived in a middle-class apartment in what used to be a place apparently called Moscow. Rahn Vance, Dan's best friend, lived next door to him. They would do everything together...execept dying.

When Dan was 13, Rahn and Dan were doing their usual weekend routine, which of course meant hurling a boomerang at pigeons. It was Rahn's turn to throw the boomerang, so he did, but of course he missed. It fell into the street and Rahn ran to get it back. Rahn never did see that crimson black truck barreling down the street. It hit him and it fatally wounded him. The force of the impact knocked him all the way to Dan's feet. Rahn looked up at Dan with those emerald green eyes, smiled, and passed away.

We fast-forward five years, and now Dan is eighteen years old. Dan's dad died from intoxication a day after Dan had turned 17. Luckily, he now has a wonderful girl-friend named Esther Quirk. Ah Esther, how they would hold each other, and the way they danced...how sad things that all good things must have an end. Esther was talking Dan's ear off as usual, when suddenly, all the lights in the city went dark. Terrified, as this had never happened before, Esther got up from the bench she and Dan were sitting on and wondered around aimlessly. When the lights came back on about a minute later, Esther was sleeping on the ground in a pool of ketchup. That's what Dan continued to tell himself as she was buried in her grave.

Dan was devastated. He had already lost his best friend in a freak car accident, now his girl friend was gone as well! He decided to investigate who or what killed her. Dan searched the area around where Esther died, and found a torn piece of cloth. It had the signature logo of the GU on it. Dan snapped on that day, and he vowed that he would not rest until he killed every last member of the GU.

Dan didn't anticipate that there were others out there who also hated the GU. After hearing about these people he decided that he'd join up with them. He rose through the ranks, until he became general on his 26th birthday. Dan is tired of putting up with the GU treating humans like dolls. This is his story, and it has only just begun.


What do you think? GU stands for Global Union. Use your imagination to understand the world around Dan.


Last edited by The Master on Sat Nov 19, 2011 10:59 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Because I can.)
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  The Master on Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:16 am

Mad Doesn't anyone care about my work in any way shape or form, positively or negatively?
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  Slag on Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:20 am

I think that nobody cares about the nonpony fanfic section. I'm honestly writing this because I slightly pity you.

You might consider heading to somewhere with an atmosphere more centered around this kind of stuff.
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  Flying Dice on Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:41 am

Yeah, tbh, I put this section up because a couple people requested it. We've only got 16 members, and we all have a single common interest: MLP. I don't want to discourage anyone from posting here because, hey, I understand wanting to get your stuff out there, but this is still a largely MLP-centric forum, and there aren't many of us on here at the moment, so you'll probably generate more interest on an established forum specifically geared toward the style of your story. Hence why I would't post, say, an Aurora LP on here: Not many people would really care enough to read it, regardless of how well it was written.

Smile


Or we could all do a ritual sacrifice to attract a few hundred new members. I'd like that.
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  Slag on Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:42 am

They didn't like the porn, what makes you think they'd be interested in a sacrifice?

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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  Flying Dice on Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:43 am

DF forumites.
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  The Master on Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:03 am

Evil or Very Mad I refuse to write that kind of crap. If all you pervs want is that, I can take my business elsewhere.
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  Slag on Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:07 am

I didn't ask you to write anything. Or do anything. None of us did. We're joking about some... issues... that cropped up before you got here. And about DF.

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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  Flying Dice on Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:19 am

Specifically, about him deciding it was a good idea to make a thread for anthro porn images on the interim forums, and B12ers lurking noticing it before it was deleted.



Again, I'm not requesting anything, or endorsing anything. I'm not trying to chase anyone away. I'm saying that you'll be more likely to find people who are interested in this story, as well as more likely to find a larger prospective audience, on a site that is primarily dedicated to fanfiction of all types, rather than one which is MLP-centric. Wink
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Re: The sad tale of Dan Mcneelee

Post  The Master on Sun Nov 20, 2011 3:30 am

Flying Dice wrote:Specifically, about him deciding it was a good idea to make a thread for anthro porn images on the interim forums, and B12ers lurking noticing it before it was deleted.



Again, I'm not requesting anything, or endorsing anything. I'm not trying to chase anyone away. I'm saying that you'll be more likely to find people who are interested in this story, as well as more likely to find a larger prospective audience, on a site that is primarily dedicated to fanfiction of all types, rather than one which is MLP-centric. Wink
This is the kind of input i'm looking for. Thank you. Razz
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