PonyCraft: the New Order

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PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Debesh on Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:09 pm

Ponies? In my StarCraft?
Spoiler:


In all seriousness, I'm bored as hell. I have no idea how far this will go, but I plan on continuing it. Enjoy some Starcraft with ponies.

PonyCraft: Part One:

Vinyl Scratch looked at the large neon sign above her with a tad bit of nervousness. The bright colors proudly spelled out "Cybernetic Enhancement Center" and showed a grinning unicorn with a pair of robotic limbs.
Somepony jostled Vinyl, knocking off her glasses. The purple shades clattered to the ground and into the maze of ponies around her. The sudden intrusion of light stabbed into Vinyl's eyes, forcing her to scrunch her eyes closed and cover her face with a hoof. This was why the unicorn was here; not for some fancy robotic limbs, but because of her eyes. The albino unicorn had blood-red eyes, and because of her condition her eyesight was shot. Not only did she need protection against any kind of bright light, she was nearsighted to the point of being blind.
There was a lot of opposition to cybernetic enhancements; many ponies were worried about how dangerous enhanced criminals would be, while others argued that replacing yourself with robotics destroyed a vital part of yourself. Vinyl was a pony that believed in practicality, and so she was one of the ponies in the middle. If you had a problem that could be fixed by robotics, Vinyl believed, get it fixed.
Vinyl opened her eyes briefly, but closed them immediately. The glare from the midday sun was reflected off the metal walls of the metropolis around her; she would have to blindly grope her way into the building. The lunch crowd certainly didn't help at all. Vinyl pushed forward blindly, stepping on a few hooves but making it to the other side of the street without any serious trouble. Blindly groping, she found the door to the Enhancement Center and stumbled in.

[/&\]

As she came to, Vinyl slowly opened her eyes. She expected the usual agony that came with loosing her glasses, but when it didn't come she fully opened them.
The first thing she noticed was the bright overhead light above her. She was resting on a medical table, inside a small white room with little else but a sink and cabinet.
The next thing she noticed was how clear everything was. She could see every line on the cabinet, every spot on the walls, even the individual drops of water in the sink. There was a mirror on one wall; standing up and looking at it, she saw nothing different about her. Her eyes were the same red color, but her eyelids were red and irritated. The inside of her eyes itched, probably because of the operation, but that was a small price to pay for such perfect vision.
The door to the room opened, revealing a blue earth pony wearing a simple nurse's uniform. To Vinyl's surprise, a little box appeared next to the pony's head, with the name Nurse Tenderheart and a few numbers.
"Hey, that's cool," Vinyl said, waving a hoof at the box. "New nametags or something?"
The nurse gave Vinyl a confused look, then let out a soft 'oh' of realization. "That's your new implants, Ms. Scratch. Your new eyes come with identification software along with twenty-ten vision."
Vinyl grinned. She had something along the lines of twenty-eighty vision naturally, and now she could see twice as well as a normal pony. Octy would be ecstatic!
"So, you're ready to leave, Ms. Scratch," Nurse Tenderheart said. "If you have any problems with your eyesight, come back and we'll fix it for free. The only common symptom is some minor eye irritation, but that is harmless and will go away in a few days." The nurse smiled at Vinyl. "We hope your new eyes will improve your life, Ms. Scratch."

[/&\]

Vinyl walked out into the sunlight. Her stomach growled at her; the sun was low in the sky, and Vinyl hadn't eaten since breakfast.
Speaking of the sun, Vinyl could see the sun. Not pictures, not reflections; Celestia's own sun. Vinly stared at it, the bright ball of fire that had caused her agony for twenty years. She sat there for a few moments, just staring at it, before a harsh voice interrupted her.
"Hey, cyberpony! What did you get torn out of you this time?!"
There was a group of ponies standing outside that Vinyl hadn't noticed. They all had signs demonstrating a hatred of enhancement; some read 'Cyberponies aren't ponies!' while others read 'Be pure, reject enhancement!' There were more than two dozen ponies there, yelling at anypony that got near.
Vinyl quickly retreated form the protesters, heading off to find the nearest train station. At that thought, an arrow appeared in Vinyl's vision, off in the distance, along with a distance of 1.2 kilohooves and the words "Monorail Station". After a moment of staring at it, Vinyl realized that her eyes had placed the marker based on her thoughts.
Creepy, Vinyl thought. But there was no denying how useful that was. Heeding the renewed calls of her stomach, Vinyl made an effort to wonder about the nearest hayfry stand. Another marker appeared, about a hundred hooves ahead of her, and Vinyl stopped to pick up a snack. The vendor's name, age, and sex appeared in another little box while Vinyl was making her order, and when Vinyl grabbed her hayfries with her magic, the ingredients and calorie content were displayed for her. Contentedly munching on her fries, Vinyl followed the marker while admiring the city around her without the tint of sunglasses or fuzziness of poor vision.
These new eyes were easily the second-best thing that ever happened to Vinyl.

PonyCraft: Part Two:

[spoiler=Ponycraft: Part Two]
Vinyl closed the door to her apartment behind her. The dim living room used to be a refuge, where Vinyl could collapse and fall into a sugar coma after work. Now, though, the room was uncomfortably dim. She could pick out every detail of the room, and instead of the fuzzy mess her old eyes had seen the floor was obviously a cluttered mess of trash.
With a twist of her magic, Vinyl put on some music from another artist; soft violin tunes started playing as Vinyl waded through the trash on her floor. She paused for a moment, nodding to the tune, before throwing open the heavy curtains as the violin was blasted to splinters by a heavy drop. The room became brighter than it had been in years, and Vinyl set about cleaning up.
Hours later, there were a half-dozen trash bags piled in the corner and Vinyl was carefully disposing of the fifth dead mouse she had found by tossing it out the open window. The sun had set a while ago, and every light in the room was turned on. Vinyl gave the living room a satisfied glance before moving to the kitchen for a well-earned drink.
She walked back out a minute later, levitating a pair of trash bags filled with paper cups and plates, along with a bottle of beer. According to her new eyes, Coltweiser beers had only about three percent alcohol content; Vinyl would have to buy something else on her next shopping trip. Tossing the garbage on the pile, Vinyl collapsed on her couch and fell asleep.

[/&\]

Vinyl was disturbed from her peaceful slumber by knocking on her door. She groaned and rolled off her couch, landing heavily on the stained floor. Stumbling to her hooves, she ran over to the door and opened it for the pony on the other side.
On the other side of the door was the best thing that ever happened to Vinyl. Her eyes helpfully identified the mare as Octavia Pie, but Vinyl hardly needed the help. With a squeal of delight, Vinyl tackled Octavia to the ground.
"Vinyl... can't... breathe..."
Vinyl released her hug on the musician and stood up with a grin on her face. "It's been too long, Octy. How'd the tour go?"
Octavia stood up and straightened her bow tie before answering. "It went very well, although my sister showed up at our fourth performance. Made me look like a complete idiot in front of several important ponies..." The two mares had walked into Vinyl's apartment, and Octavia paused as she took in the scene. "Vinyl... did you clean?"
"Yeah! the whole place was really getting to me. Ya see, I-"
"Wait," Octavia interrupted. "Vinyl, where are your glasses?"
"That's what I was gonna say! I don't need those old things anymore," Vinyl proudly said. "I went to the Cybernetic Enhancement Center downtown and got eye implants!"
Octavia's face reflected anything but the joy Vinyl was feeling; a look of horror crept over the musician's face. "Vinyl, tell me you're joking."
"Come on, Octy. Don't tell me you're one of those fanatics!"
"I'm not a fanatic, Vinyl, but these enhancements are wrong! You're cutting little bits and pieces of yourself out! Don't you understand that you just destroyed your eyes forever?" Octavia sighed, calming down a bit. "I'm glad you can see, Vinyl, really. Just... promise me you won't get any more enhancements. Please?"
Vinyl nuzzled Octavia softly. "Don't worry, Octy, those things would cost me an eye and a leg to get," she assured, wiggling a leg. Octavia rolled her eyes. "But in all seriousness, I don't want robotic limbs or wings or anything like that. With these eyes, I'm all set. Besides, none of it would be worth loosing you."
"I find it ironic that I'm saying this, Vinyl, but that was really cheesy." Vinyl just grinned. "I do love what you've done with the place, though. Still smells like a dumpster."
"In that case, you can help me take out the trash," Vinyl said, tossing a bag of trash ot Octavia, who ducked with an indignant shriek.
"I suppose we'll need to dump you out there too, you uncultured ruffian!" Vinyl's face exploded into a beaming smile; it was getting boring without having Octavia here.

[/&\]

Vinyl really, really wanted to play her music loud enough that the first bass drop would shatter the windows, but she had a feeling that the club owners would take offense to that. Instead, she had to make do with making everypony's ears bleed with the force of her music. As she played, she looked at the ponies in the crowd, savoring their expressions of glee and watching them dance. There were actually quite a few profesisonal dancers here, and Vinyl was quite impressed with their moves, as was anypony sober enough to notice.
Eventually, the club began to wind down. Ponies collapsed or filtered out, and eventually even Vinyl had to call it a night. Packing up her music into her saddlebags, she headed off for the monorail. She knew the path by heart, having traveled it for years, but her eyes picked up on her intentions and placed a marker at the train station anyway.
As the train traveled from the center of Canterlot to the residential areas on the outskirts, something caught Vinyl's eye. Off in the distance was a dull red light; as the train came closer to the source, Vinyl saw that part of the business district was on fire. Her eyes marked a wide swath of the city around the fires in a red outline, along with a warning that the area was currently home to extreme violence. Vinyl frowned at her reflection in the window as the monorail zoomed by the stricken area.
Once she got home, Vinyl flicked on her radio. She quickly found a news channel and turned up the volume.
"... police forces are quelling riots all across the nation, Seth," a reporter was saying. "Ponies are up in arms about the criminals that struck this morning and are blaming the Enhancement Centers. Several centers have been broken into and vandalized, while others have been set on fire. We have no reports yet of casualties, but we know that many of the rioters have hurt themselves and others."
"Thank you, Cereal," the news host said. "For those of you who are new to the story, ponies across Equestria are rioting after the attacks this morning performed by cybernetically enhanced criminals. We suggest that everypony stay indoors and wait for the police to deal with the situation."
Vinyl was stunned by this. There had always been fanatics and so-called 'purists' who had opposed enhancements, but they had been a vocal minority, ponies to be ignored. This was the first time Vinyl had heard of anything more severe than graffiti and harassment.
From the sounds of it, though, the police had it under control. Vinyl took a calming breath and hunted down her phone; Octavia would want to be sure she was alright.

PonyCraft: Part Three:


"You owe me a rave for this, Octy," Vinyl muttered. The two mares had just walked into the ballroom, and the intimidating sight of dozens of frilly, stuck-up nobles greeted them.
"Octavia," the mare in question hissed back. "Please, just sit through this. Fancypants himself asked about you! He's one of the most influential ponies in high society!"
Vinyl sighed. "Fine, fine. But you owe me."
"Alright. Behave yourself, please, while I try to find Fancypants in this mess." With those words, Octavia slipped away, leaving Vinyl alone. She would have let out a melodramatic sigh, but nopony would have noticed, so she set out to find out if there were any snacks at this party. She got a few odd looks; unlike Octy, she wasn't wearing any dresses or anything. Even her usual shades were absent, although they were hardly needed anymore.
Probably look like a tramp that wandered in, Vinyl thought to herself. But she ignored the looks in favor of her prey; the snack bar. Helping herself to a plate of pastries that her eyes identified as 'starfruit rolls,' she looked around the room. Much too high-class for her; she had no idea why Octy insisted on dragging her to parties where she was out of her element like this. Already bored, she started listening to the conversations around her; a trio of ponies near her caught her attention.
"...shut them all down," a stallion was saying to a pair of mares. "All they're doing is helping criminals get the upper hoof on honest police ponies who refuse to mutilate themselves in a similar fashion!"
One of the mares replied heatedly. "That's just silly! There's many ponies who are benefiting from enhancements every day!" Ah, Vinyl thought to herself, That's what they're talking about.
"How many ponies would benefit from getting carved up and put together again?" the stallion retaliated. "Nothing is worth the price of that!"
"I agree," the third mare put in. "The thought of having a machine put inside me is just disturbing! I don't know how anypony can stand it!"
Vinyl mentally shrugged; ponies were allowed their own opinions, after all. She was about to hunt down some more snacks before she was approached by a white unicorn in a fancy coat. At his side was a tall, almost lanky pink mare; the two were Fancypants and Elizabeth, according to her eyes.
"Hello, miss," he said. "I don't belive we have met."
"Vinyl Scratch," she said, offering a hoof.
"Ah, Octavia's friend!" the unicorn said with a smile, shaking hooves. "I am Fancypants and this is Elizabeth; we are both friends of Octavia, and I've heard quite a bit about you. I must say, I'm impressed at how far you've taken yourself without any formal education in the musical field."
"Ah, it's not much," Vinyl said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. "I'm just a local DJ; it's fun and all, just nothing fancy."
"Even so, I can see a lot of promise in you and your career, Ms. Scratch," Fancypants said with a smile. "You have quite the future ahead of you, I can tell." He was distracted by something behind Vinyl; turning around, she saw Octavia weaving through the crowd towards them.
"Hey, Octy!" Vinyl shouted, waving a hoof and drawing a few stares from nearby ponies. Octavia visibly winced, and as she came withing talking range she shot Vinyl a glare.
"Hello, Fancypants. I see you met Vinyl; did she behave herself?"
"Indeed she did," Fancypants replied with a chuckle. "We were just talking about Ms. Scratch's musical career."
Octavia rose an eyebrow. She opened her mouth to say something before shouting from outside interrupted her and everypony in the ballroom. Heads turned towards the double doors and angry muttering replaced the conversation around them. After a few moments, ponies started to turn back to their conversations.
The doors burst open, kicked by a terrifying stallion. He was brown, with red hair and an enhanced leg, but none of that was terribly abnormal. What really scared Vinyl was his eyes, bloodshot orbs that didn't hold any intelligence at all. The stallion was snarling like some kind of animal, and everypony near the doors fled into the ballroom, screaming wildly.
The feral pony snapped at the air, saliva dripping form his jaw. He eyed the panicked nobles around him warily, maybe even hungrily. He took a step towards the massed nobles, who shrank away even further, then let out an inpony screech and launched himself at the nearest pony. Vinyl watched as the feral pony sailed through the air; she was certain the cowering noble was doomed before a bolt of soft pink light struck the attacking stallion in the chest. Elizabeth stepped forwards in a fighting stance, legs out wide and horn charging up another attack. As the feral pony tried to stand up, he was hit in the face by another bolt of pink energy and fell to the ground.
"Thank you, Elizabeth," Fancypants said; the pink mare nodded, then called out in a soft voice.
"Would somepony call the police?" A nearby noble pulled out a small phone, and after a few button presses had two officers coming to secure the subdued madpony. Vinyl eyed Elizabeth in a new light; if pressed, she would have put the mare down as a simple-minded model or something, not somepony trained in combat magic.
"I'm sorry, my dears, but I'm going to have to reassure the guests," Fancypants said to Vinyl and Octavia. "I do hope you had a good time tonight; it was a pleasure, Ms. Scratch." Vinyl nodded at the noble and his bodyguard as they went to comfort the other guests.
"I've been to worse," Vinyl said idly to Octavia. "Entertainment was good." Octavia sighed.
"You have no sense of tact, Vinyl. At least nopony was hurt by that madpony."
"Yeah, that wouldn't have been fun. Where does someone that crazy come from, anyway? It's not like there are ponies roaming the streets, holding on to sanity by a thread or something."
"I have no idea, Vinyl, but I doubt it's anything more than coincidence." Vinyl wasn't really convinced, but she shrugged. Just some random madpony, she thought to herself. But there was still something about him that disturbed her; maybe it was his eyes, or the feral way he had acted, but no matter what it was, Vinyl felt uneasy thinking about it. Thankfully, Octavia seemed to sense how unnerved Vinyl was.
"How about we go to Deja Vu? I heard that they have a new manager." The wine bar was actually halfway decent, if Vinyl recalled correctly; it would probably be more fun than staying here, at any rate. Many of the nobles that had shown up were leaving now, throwing worrisome glances at the unconscious stallion sprawled on the ballroom floor.
"Sounds like a plan."

[/&\]

Vinyl slowly came to, taking her time getting out of bed. A sudden chill went through her body, and she realized she wasn't under any blankets. Rolling over and opening her eyes, she saw Octavia wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets and sheets. With a groan, she rolled off the bed and wandered into Octavia's kitchen for something to eat. As she rummaged through the fridge for something that had less than three steps to prepare, she turned on the small monitor installed on the counter, being sure to turn the volume down.
"...herself addressed the issue this morning," the news anchor was saying. Vinyl threw a quick glance at the time: 1:38. "For those of you that missed it, we have the entire speech recorded." The screen was filled with the image of Princess Celestia in all her radiant beauty standing before a large crowd at the Canterlot Palace.
"Over the past week," she began, her clear voice carrying clearly despite the distance between her and the camera, "A criminal organization calling themselves the Equites ex Machina have attacked several locations, including banks and museums. Many ponies are worried about the organization's focus on cybernetic enhancement and the advantage it has given them over local police. They have proven themselves a threat beyond what local law enforcement can be expected to handle, and so I am giving the Royal Guard responsibility for handling the situation." There were several relieved murmurs form the crowd. Vinyl finally dug out a loaf of whole-wheat bread and tossed a few slices in a toaster, then turned to focus on the speech.
"The more alarming issue has grown over the past few days," the Princess continued. "Twenty-eight ponies have all, without displaying any symptoms or warning signs beforehoof, gone completely insane, attacking ponies near them until subdued. The only thing these ponies have in common is that they have year-old cybernetic enhancements; this makes them some of the first ponies to receive commercial enhancements. The implications of this have alarmed many ponies, and with good reason, but I must ask that ponies avoid taking matters into their own hooves! I have a team of Equestria's best scientists and magicians looking into the matter as we speak, and hopefully they will be able to give us some answers. Until then, everypony remain calm; the riots from several days earlier only served to futher the chaos and misunderstandings, so please remain civil about the matter. I promise you all that I will make everything the team discovers public knowledge, and that I will act in Equestria's best interests, no matter what the results are. Thank you." The Princess turned away from the crowd and entered the palace, ignoring the questions excited reporters were shouting at her.
For her part, Vinyl was scared and had plenty questions herself. Thirty ponies had suddenly snapped and turned into feral monsters over the past few days. Vinyl shuddered, remembering the bloodshot eyes... and the enhanced leg the stallion had.
No need to jump to conclusions, Vinyl thought as she crushed the fear growing in her. Celestia is working on it; they'll find out what's happening long before anything happens to you. And there were so many unknown variables that there was little reason to panic; the only certain thing was that some ponies had gone insane and that they all had enhancements from when the Enhancement Centers first became open to the public. Maybe only the old ones caused this, or maybe it was all some freaky coincidence. Vinyl took a deep breath, and let it out in a sigh. Everything would be fine. She put her cold toast back in the toaster for a moment and began the hunt for some normal-looking jam.


Last edited by Debesh on Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:32 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Sean Mirrsen on Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:44 pm

Starcraft? Are you sure this isn't Shadowrun?
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:48 pm

Agreeing with Sean, there's zero indication this has anything to do with StarCraft. It doesn't even seem to have that much to do with Shadowrun, honestly, it could be anything. Perhaps this will change eventually, though.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Sean Mirrsen on Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:58 pm

Shadowrun's just the only thing I know with this kind of cybernetic enhancement. Well, maybe Deus Ex too.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Debesh on Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:00 pm

/facepalm
I'm assuming everyone knows the backstory of the StarCraft universe here :p
Anyone read the backstory int he StarCraft manual? The story, compressed, goes something like this:
Spoiler:

Earth is taken over by fanatics dedicated to purifying human race. Cybernetically enhanced and mutated people are rounded up to be executed. However, a small sample of these people are taken and used in a colonization experiment. Sent off to colonize a nearby habitable system, there are some problems en route and the ships miss their destination, instead travelling until the ships break down. The survivors end up founding the Terran Dominion, setting the stage for StarCraft.
Here's the manual for StarCraft, complete with backstory.

Also, what is Shadowrun? Let me Google that...

EDIT:
Aha, I see where the confusion is. This is most definitely StarCraft, but it won't get to the actual games for a few chapters here.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:17 pm

So a bunch of ultraconservative assholes sent all the 'impure' people along to an attempted penal colony after presumably killing a nice few of them?

And to believe I thought the Earth Federation actually had a few decent people. Remind me to read the manual next time.

Something tells me that Vinyl's going to become a ghost, by the way.

Edit: Assuming she doesn't get fucked over by the Zerg, the Protoss, or any Terran fuckwits.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Emberflash on Sun Dec 04, 2011 10:55 pm

Starcraft and Vinyl Scratch? I can't wait to see where this goes Very Happy
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Debesh on Mon Dec 05, 2011 1:50 am

@Slag
Spoiler:
The Terran Dominion takes a couple of centuries to build itself up from the wreckage of a couple ships. By the time the events of the game take place, Vinyl will be either old or deceased. The people in StarCraft are the descendants of the people that first landed, and while I'm decreasing the time it takes for the Dominion to take hold in the story, it still won't be short enough for Vinyl to take part in any serious fighting. What I'm doing is using Vinyl to show what happened in Equestria from the point where shit starts to hit the fan to when everypony shows up in the Koprulu system and founds the Dominion, then moving on to everypony's descendants as the Protoss and Zerg start to show their ugly faces.
I could have gone with an OC and make it work just as well, but I figured that seeing as people already like existing characters I wouldn't have to go through nearly as much effort to make them likeable in the story :p

Ponycraft: Part Two:

Vinyl closed the door to her apartment behind her. The dim living room used to be a refuge, where Vinyl could collapse and fall into a sugar coma after work. Now, though, the room was uncomfortably dim. She could pick out every detail of the room, and instead of the fuzzy mess her old eyes had seen the floor was obviously a cluttered mess of trash.
With a twist of her magic, Vinyl put on some music from another artist; soft violin tunes started playing as Vinyl waded through the trash on her floor. She paused for a moment, nodding to the tune, before throwing open the heavy curtains as the violin was blasted to splinters by a heavy drop. The room became brighter than it had been in years, and Vinyl set about cleaning up.
Hours later, there were a half-dozen trash bags piled in the corner and Vinyl was carefully disposing of the fifth dead mouse she had found by tossing it out the open window. The sun had set a while ago, and every light in the room was turned on. Vinyl gave the living room a satisfied glance before moving to the kitchen for a well-earned drink.
She walked back out a minute later, levitating a pair of trash bags filled with paper cups and plates, along with a bottle of beer. According to her new eyes, Coltweiser beers had only about three percent alcohol content; Vinyl would have to buy something else on her next shopping trip. Tossing the garbage on the pile, Vinyl collapsed on her couch and fell asleep.

[/&\]

Vinyl was disturbed from her peaceful slumber by knocking on her door. She groaned and rolled off her couch, landing heavily on the stained floor. Stumbling to her hooves, she ran over to the door and opened it for the pony on the other side.
On the other side of the door was the best thing that ever happened to Vinyl. Her eyes helpfully identified the mare as Octavia Pie, but Vinyl hardly needed the help. With a squeal of delight, Vinyl tackled Octavia to the ground.
"Vinyl... can't... breathe..."
Vinyl released her hug on the musician and stood up with a grin on her face. "It's been too long, Octy. How'd the tour go?"
Octavia stood up and straightened her bow tie before answering. "It went very well, although my sister showed up at our fourth performance. Made me look like a complete idiot in front of several important ponies..." The two mares had walked into Vinyl's apartment, and Octavia paused as she took in the scene. "Vinyl... did you clean?"
"Yeah! the whole place was really getting to me. Ya see, I-"
"Wait," Octavia interrupted. "Vinyl, where are your glasses?"
"That's what I was gonna say! I don't need those old things anymore," Vinyl proudly said. "I went to the Cybernetic Enhancement Center downtown and got eye implants!"
Octavia's face reflected anything but the joy Vinyl was feeling; a look of horror crept over the musician's face. "Vinyl, tell me you're joking."
"Come on, Octy. Don't tell me you're one of those fanatics!"
"I'm not a fanatic, Vinyl, but these enhancements are wrong! You're cutting little bits and pieces of yourself out! Don't you understand that you just destroyed your eyes forever?" Octavia sighed, calming down a bit. "I'm glad you can see, Vinyl, really. Just... promise me you won't get any more enhancements. Please?"
Vinyl nuzzled Octavia softly. "Don't worry, Octy, those things would cost me an eye and a leg to get," she assured, wiggling a leg. Octavia rolled her eyes. "But in all seriousness, I don't want robotic limbs or wings or anything like that. With these eyes, I'm all set. Besides, none of it would be worth loosing you."
"I find it ironic that I'm saying this, Vinyl, but that was really cheesy." Vinyl just grinned. "I do love what you've done with the place, though. Still smells like a dumpster."
"In that case, you can help me take out the trash," Vinyl said, tossing a bag of trash ot Octavia, who ducked with an indignant shriek.
"I suppose we'll need to dump you out there too, you uncultured ruffian!" Vinyl's face exploded into a beaming smile; it was getting boring without having Octavia here.

[/&\]

Vinyl really, really wanted to play her music loud enough that the first bass drop would shatter the windows, but she had a feeling that the club owners would take offense to that. Instead, she had to make do with making everypony's ears bleed with the force of her music. As she played, she looked at the ponies in the crowd, savoring their expressions of glee and watching them dance. There were actually quite a few profesisonal dancers here, and Vinyl was quite impressed with their moves, as was anypony sober enough to notice.
Eventually, the club began to wind down. Ponies collapsed or filtered out, and eventually even Vinyl had to call it a night. Packing up her music into her saddlebags, she headed off for the monorail. She knew the path by heart, having traveled it for years, but her eyes picked up on her intentions and placed a marker at the train station anyway.
As the train traveled from the center of Canterlot to the residential areas on the outskirts, something caught Vinyl's eye. Off in the distance was a dull red light; as the train came closer to the source, Vinyl saw that part of the business district was on fire. Her eyes marked a wide swath of the city around the fires in a red outline, along with a warning that the area was currently home to extreme violence. Vinyl frowned at her reflection in the window as the monorail zoomed by the stricken area.
Once she got home, Vinyl flicked on her radio. She quickly found a news channel and turned up the volume.
"... police forces are quelling riots all across the nation, Seth," a reporter was saying. "Ponies are up in arms about the criminals that struck this morning and are blaming the Enhancement Centers. Several centers have been broken into and vandalized, while others have been set on fire. We have no reports yet of casualties, but we know that many of the rioters have hurt themselves and others."
"Thank you, Cereal," the news host said. "For those of you who are new to the story, ponies across Equestria are rioting after the attacks this morning performed by cybernetically enhanced criminals. We suggest that everypony stay indoors and wait for the police to deal with the situation."
Vinyl was stunned by this. There had always been fanatics and so-called 'purists' who had opposed enhancements, but they had been a vocal minority, ponies to be ignored. This was the first time Vinyl had heard of anything more severe than graffiti and harassment.
From the sounds of it, though, the police had it under control. Vinyl took a calming breath and hunted down her phone; Octavia would want to be sure she was alright.

[/&\]

Three nights later, Vinyl finished her shift at the club with a flourish, putting together a lightshow to go along with the music. As was her habit, she left through the back door and out into the alley; it really wasn't worth the effort to push through the huge crowds to leave through the front door.
As she turned to walk down her usual path, however, a rough voice floated out from behind one of the dumpsters.
"How do you like that, cyberpony bitch?" The voice was accompanied by a crunch and a whimper of pain.
"What's going on out there?" Vinyl called out loudly. She wasn't going to walk away from somepony in need, and it sounded like some thugs had gotten a hold of a poor pony back there.
A greasy stallion jumped out from behind the dumpster. He was wearing a leather jacket and his chest was covered in specks of blood.
"Walk away if you know what's good for you," he growled. Vinyl didn't back down, glaring back at the thug. "I'm calling the cops if you don't run away right now," she threatened. Her eyes had already identified the pony; his name was Tundra, something she'd be reporting no matter what happened right now. Her eyes helpfully marked the nearest police station, an arrow appearing in the corner of her eye.
"We'll take you down too, bitch," Tundra growled. When Vinyl didn't budge, he muttered something; Vinyl could see his lips move. A second pony jumped out from behind the dumpster; Vinyl didn't have time to register anything more than the fact that he was a stallion and holding a gun before he shot.
Vinyl felt like she was hit by a hammer. She was on the ground before her panicked mind registered anything, and she could barely breathe. A door slammed open and ponies started shouting; several ponies started running, hooves clopping against the concrete. Voices; somepony was talking to her, and a face appeared in her vision.
"Hey, miss, can you hear me?" Vinyl nodded weakly. "Good. I need you to stay awake, can you do that? You're in shock, and if you fall asleep now you won't wake up. An ambulance is on the way." Vinyl simply nodded again and struggled to stay awake. She had no idea how long it was before the sirens of an ambulance could be heard, but she was awake when somepony picked her up onto a stretcher. An oxygen mask was placed over her muzzle and she drifted off.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:18 am

So you're using ponies to flesh out a story a lot of people probably don't even know exist, and presumably will wonder just what the hell you're talking about when you use the StarCraft name on it.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  MC Dirty on Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:33 am

Slag wrote:So you're using ponies to flesh out a story a lot of people probably don't even know exist, and presumably will wonder just what the hell you're talking about when you use the StarCraft name on it.
Well, if those people know Starcraft, I assume they know the backstory. If people don't read the story of the universe, then that is their fault. I really don't understand these people. It's like the ones calling support hotlines of basically anything because they were too stupid to read the manual. I could punch that sort of people.
Now, that was very much off-topic and I haven't read your story yet, but I just needed to get that out of my system. If the reader doen't understand what the story has to do with the Starcraft universe, then tough titties, maybe they should look up what the Starcraft universe is like?

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:47 am

Most people don't read the manual. Even when they do, they're usually looking up how to work the game's mechanics. They usually expect the story itself to be told in-game.

In StarCraft's case, the story begins with the Dominion being introduced to the Protoss by the Protoss frying the hell out of Dominion planets in order to wipe out Zerg that most of the Dominion don't even know exist. This stuff is centuries after what Debesh is writing about, and the section that Debesh is writing about is never even so much as mentioned by anyone in the game. Not even in the expansion, when the Earth Federation Forces who fly all the way out to the ass end of space to fuck with the Dominion, does anyone mention anything about this stuff.

Yes, I've played the game. I've played it several times through, in fact. I didn't know shit about any of this until Debesh showed me. And now I know.

Never played 2, though, so I don't know if they say anything there.

And I still think Vinyl would make a sexy and kickass Ghost, even if she never faced off against Zerg or Protoss. I'd imagine that the newly forming Dominion would at least need someone out there keeping the peace until they could get themselves built up.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  MC Dirty on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:13 am

Well, that's where we're different, I guess. I can hardly imagine starting a game without having read the manual and I don't understand why people do. Unless it doesn't have one, of course. Generally, it seems that you save yourself a lot of headaches and annoyances with the game (or anything, really) if you just RTFM. That is also the reason why I despise most tutorials. I've read the manual, I know everything there is to know about controlling the game, but the game acts as if I've never even seen a keyboard or a controller before. I mean, the manual's right there, does noone realize that there is a reason for its existence?
While skipping the fluff is sort of understandable, I still don't do it because what if I don't understand the game's story without it?

But I guess most people think completely differently and I can't fathom the reason.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:20 am

People don't read the manual because of tutorials, which are usually easier to learn the game with in the first place. Most manuals don't really have anything else useful except for installation instructions the occasional troubleshooting section, and sometimes the manuals are wrong because they're using an outdated version of the manual written while the game is still in beta.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Flying Dice on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:22 am

Reading the manual is the most important part of any game.


Say, MC Dirty, did you ever have Homeworld? If so, did you enjoy the massive backstory of the clans in the technical brief?
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:31 am

Okay, I'll admit, sometimes I did read the manual on those old games simply because they usually had that kinda stuff.

I didn't know that StarCraft even had a manual though. The first copy that I used didn't have one.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Debesh on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:42 am

The plan is to establish the backstory that most people don't know exist before running through the events of the game itself. People will be all 'wtf is this shit this aint starcraft' for a while before names that they know start cropping up - at the pace it's going, I'm going to say chapter four is when our ponies will show up in the Koprulu Sector, and I'm fairly certain that the planet names should make those who don't know any of this go 'oohh' in realization.
There's a lot of stuff going on before the Zerg and Protoss show up, of course, that has an effect on the game itself; the Korhal Rebellion is the most obvious one. There was a lot of conflict; basically, three separate governments organized themselves before coming in contact with one another, and the Dominion came out top, so the Dominion is in need of talented ponies. Vinyl will definitely be in a position to become a ghost, and I have only a rough idea of what she'll be up to so it's easy to change. Might make it easier to cover important background events, too; Vinyl might even be the one who assassinates the Mengsk family, putting her right in the thick of the Korhal Rebellion.

Also, no mention of this in two yet, either :p

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I usually don't read the manual unless it has fluff in it: the collector's edition of Warcraft III, for example, but a lot of people just skip the whole thing.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:55 am

A lot of people don't give a shit about fluff at all. It's kinda sad, but most players just want to play the game.

Halo's one of the few modern games with a shit-ton of fluff, but most people don't give a shit and just play the games. I wouldn't be surprised if that's a common occurrence with all games that have a lot of fluff. Most folks just play the game to play the game.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Emberflash on Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:44 am

Case in point, my father. His major complaint with the Star Wars: The Old Republic beta, when we played it last weekend, was that he had to choose conversation options. He wanted it to be exactly like WoW, where you just click "Accept" and run off to go collect 10,000 bear faces. All of the story, the grandeur, the intrigue, was lost on him. It was sad to watch him get frustrated at the LS-DS options; not because he was toiling over which to choose, but because he had an issue with having to choose them in the first place.

Made me sick.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Flying Dice on Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:33 am

I've still got the SC and Brood War manuals stuffed in a desk drawer somewhere.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:23 pm

Now I want to get the games again just so I can go back through the story.

I wonder if my cousin still has his copy.

One question, Debesh, will Tavi be coming along, or will our last scene involving her be mournful goodbyes pre-departure?

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Debesh on Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:55 pm

Octavia doesn't have any kind of cybernetic enhancements (disagreeing with the whole concept in the first place) and isn't a criminal, so she won't be rounded up for 'purification' and therefore won't be eligible for the whole project in the first place. It's not like there will be much opportunity for goodbyes, either; the ponies that are being sent off were all going to be executed before somepony had the bright idea of sending them off on a half-suicidal mission FOR SCIENCE instead. I'm also terrible at emotional scenes like that, and it'll probably turn out to be more narm than anything else :p

In other news, I'm reeealy looking forward to my chemistry class today :/ Normally we have a lab, but we've gone through all the labs for the semester, so my professor is going to take the opportunity to do more lecturing. Yeeeahh... I'm going to pretend to pay attention while I write about ponies :p
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:13 pm

Tavi seems like the kind of girl who would get her last goodbyes in if she had to punch through the hull of a space dreadnaught to do so.

Plus I only said 'pre-departure,' not what kind of departure.

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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Flying Dice on Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:13 pm

+1. I could easily see 'Tavi forcing her way onto a ship to say goodbye (and then getting shipped off with them). Actually, that'd probably be the way to work her into it.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Sean Mirrsen on Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:20 pm

...and then she becomes Kerrigan.
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Re: PonyCraft: the New Order

Post  Slag on Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:32 pm

I think if Tavi ended up in combat, she'd probably either be a dropship pilot (she's obviously got the dexterity to fly a ship since she can play stringed instruments) or a medic. Scratch is 100% ghost.

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